Posts Tagged ‘roast’

Speakers Need To Know How Host A Roast Without Becoming Toast

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011
Image Credit Host A Roast Incorrectly And You'll Get Burned

Host A Roast Incorrectly And You'll Get Burned

As though speaking in public isn’t tricky enough, then there is the roast. When we are asked to put on a roast for someone we find ourselves walking directly into a social minefield from which there appears to be no way out. If we do a poor job, then the audience will be bored and will end up hating you. If you do too good of a job, the object of the roast will become angry and will end up hating you. What’s a speaker to do?

Prepare

If you’ve ever had a chance to attend a roast or watch one done on TV, then you know what this is all about. A group of people who know the guest of honor get together and, because they know him/her so well, are able to get up and say disrespectful things that make everyone laugh. If this is done well, then the speakers appear to almost be making it up while they are talking; however, the reality is that what they are saying requires careful preparation. There’s a huge difference between ribbing and insulting.

When you host a roast, you will be called on to lob mild insults towards the guest of honor all night. This means that you are going to have to do your homework and collect the information that you’ll need before the big event. The key here is to collect as much background information as you can.

Since both your audience and your fellow roasters know about the target, you need to make sure that what you say is not only funny, but also relates to the person that you’re talking about. This means that you’ve got to dive into their past and find out where they went to school, where they’ve worked, who they’ve worked with, and why they left each job. Ultimately it’s the answers to these questions that will provide you with the raw material that you’ll need to create the roast talking points that will be required.

Present

When you are hosting a roast, you get to control who speaks and when they speak. Generally you’ll select four to five other people to come up and say a few things about the guest of honor. Let’s be honest here, some people will do a good job of this and the others won’t.

Knowing this, you’ll want to make sure that nobody is scheduled to talk for too long. You’ll want to create a sequence in which the speakers go. This sequence should be based on some sort of logical progression. People who knew him or her at different stages in life, people who worked with them at different companies, etc.

Content

The success or failure of a roast ultimately comes down to the content. As you put together what you’ll be saying, there are a few things that you need to keep in mind.

You need to make sure that your ribbing relates to things that the audience knows are not true (“… when you robbed that bank last week…”). Stay away from things that they can’t decide if you are joking about or not (“your wife tells me that you are still beating her”).

The best humor comes when you make fun of the guest of honor in regards to things that they make fun of about themselves. For example, if the target can’t spell very well and is always lamenting the fact, then feel free to rib them about it.

Finally, making fun of things that the guest of honor doesn’t really care about is always safe. This could include a comment about the time that his / her boat sank because they forgot to plug a hole. Stay away from such items as you are too short, you are too fat, you are too bald.

What All Of This Means For You

Putting on a roast that will provide a good-natured ribbing of the guest of honor without offending either them or the audience can be a real challenge. Speakers who are asked to take on this task need to realize that if done incorrectly, they can get themselves into a lot of hot water.

In order to successfully host a roast, you’re going to need to do your homework. You’ll need to collect a lot of information on the guest of honor. This includes both background information and stories. Next you’ll need to organize how the roast is to be conducted: sequence the presenters and tie their presentations together. Finally, your material will need to be carefully edited so that you make everyone laugh, but you don’t offend.

The next time that you get asked to host a roast, you don’t need to say no or go running for the door. Instead, use the tips that we’ve discussed and do a great job of showing the star of the show just how much he or she is appreciated by gently making fun of them in a positive way.

- Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Public Speaking Skills™

Question For You: How long is too long when you are putting on a roast?

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What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

Every public speaker stands before his / her audience naked. Well, not exactly naked as in “no clothes”, but rather naked as in you don’t have anything standing between you and your audience. This is both wonderful (you can connect with your audience) and terrible (it’s all you, baby). In order to boost the impact of your speech you need as much help as you can get and sound effects are one way to do this…

Don’t Toast The Holidays: How Presenters Can Give A Toast Without Toasting A Relationship

Monday, December 14th, 2009
Image Credit A Poorly Given Toast Can Burn A Relationship

A Poorly Given Toast Can Burn A Relationship

Editor’s Note: This article has been selected to be included in Angela DeFinis’ “Public Speaking and the Holidays” Blog Carnival. If you aren’t familiar with blog carnivals, they are a compilation of blog posts from numerous authors on a given topic that are housed on a central blog.

Enjoy this article and be sure to check out the other ones at Angela’s blog.


It’s the holiday season once again, a virtual minefield of social speaking opportunities. I can just see it now: you’re at the office Christmas party, there will probably be some sort of food served, drinks will flow, and then someone will do it – they’ll stand up and give a toast. Oh, oh – now it’s your turn to do the same thing. How are you going to do this without looking like a fool or destroying your relationship with the person(s) of honor (your boss perhaps?)

First off, get rid of any plans that you might have to say something naughty. Rarely this might go over well; however, more often than not it falls flat on its face and so just say “no”. Michael Varma is a professional speaker who has seen his fair share of toasting disasters and he’s got some advice for all of us.

Michael says that when you are giving a toast, you should always start out by introducing yourself – in a crowd of people, there are probably a bunch of folks who don’t know who you are. Also spell out how you are related to the person(s) of honor because this will help to make your toast clearer. Michael suggests that your actual toast have three characteristics: make it brief, make it bold, and then be done with it.

A toast is NOT a speech! Mark Twain probably said it best when he recommended that toasts should never be longer than 1 minute. The longer your toast, the less impact that it will have. The “air time” that you are taking for your toast belongs to everyone and you need to use as little of it as possible.

When you are giving a toast, this is not the time to be shy. You are probably talking to a noisy room in which people may be eating, drinking, and having their own side conversations. You need to speak up! Your goal should be to speak loudly enough that everyone in the room, including the folks in the back, can hear you clearly.

When you are done speaking, shut up and sit down. Yes you’ve just given a performance; however, this event is not all about you so don’t do any bowing or waving. Shut your mouth and sit down so that everyone can once again return their attention to the person(s) of honor.

If you want your toast to be memorable, then the trick is to tell a story. I must once again reemphasize a key point – keep it clean! You shouldn’t tell stories about old girlfriends at a wedding and you shouldn’t tell stories about stealing office supplies at the annual Christmas party. Instead, tell a story that shows the person(s) of honor in a good light. Oh, and keep it to under a minute.

My recommendation is to get a little sappy, a little funny, and hopefully that will be just right for a toast at any holiday gathering.

Click here to get automatic updates when The Accidental Communicator Blog is updated.

What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

What is the best way to become a better public speaker?  The problem with most approaches is that they take time. Too much time. A much better way to quickly improve is to find a professional speaker who is doing it right and ask them how they do it…

How Presenters Can Give A Toast Without Toasting A Relationship

Tuesday, March 17th, 2009
Presenters Need To Be Careful When They Give A Toast!

Presenters Need To Be Careful When They Give A Toast!

So you’ve been invited to a wedding, a retirement party, or some other celebration in which friends and family are going to gather in order to honor someone. There will probably be some sort of food served, drinks will flow, and then someone will do it – they’ll stand up and give a toast. Oh, oh – now it’s your turn to do the same thing. How are you going to do this without looking like a fool or destroying your relationship with the person(s) of honor?

First off, get rid of any plans that you might have to say something naughty. Rarely this might go over well; however, more often than not it falls flat on its face and so just say “no”. Michael Varma is a professional speaker who has seen his fair share of toasting disasters and he’s got some advice for all of us.

Michael says that when you are giving a toast, you should always start out by introducing yourself – in a crowd of people, there are probably a bunch of folks who don’t know who you are. Also spell out how you are related to the person(s) of honor because this will help to make your toast clearer. Michael suggests that your actual toast have three characteristics: make it brief, make it bold, and then be done with it.

A toast is NOT a speech! Mark Twain probably said it best when he recommended that toasts should never be longer than 1 minute. The longer your toast, the less impact that it will have. The “air time” that you are taking for your toast belongs to everyone and you need to use as little of it as possible.

When you are giving a toast, this is not the time to be shy. You are probably talking to a noisy room in which people may be eating, drinking, and having their own side conversations. You need to speak up! Your goal should be to speak loudly enough that everyone in the room, including the folks in the back, can hear you clearly.

When you are done speaking, shut up and sit down. Yes you’ve just given a performance; however, this event is not all about you so don’t do any bowing or waving. Shut your mouth and sit down so that everyone can once again return their attention to the person(s) of honor.

If you want your toast to be memorable, then the trick is to tell a story. I must once again reemphasize a key point – keep it clean! Don’t tell stories about old girlfriends at a wedding and don’t tell stories about stealing office supplies at a retirement party. Instead, tell a story that shows the person(s) of honor in a good light. Oh, and keep it to under a minute.

I have always found wedding toasts to be a bit of  a challenge. There are too many ways that things can go wrong, too many people that you could end up offending. Over the course of time, I have refined and polished my wedding toast so that it goes something like this:

“Friends and family, we are gathered here to celebrate the wedding of … They are who they are because the people in this room have taken the time to shape and mold them into the people that they have become today – and for that we apologize! However, from this day forward, it will be up to them to determine together who they want to become and we wish them all the luck in doing so.”

So there you go, a little sappy, a little funny, and hopefully just right for a toast.

Have you ever had to give a toast at an event? Were you able to prepare or was it spur-of -the -moment? Have you ever seen a toast go horriably wrong? What was the result? Leave me a comment and let me know what you are thinking.