Posts Tagged ‘religion’

Not Funny: What’s A Speaker To Do About Unacceptable Humor?

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010
Image Credit When Speaking, You Do Really Have To Be Careful About What You Say

When Speaking, You Do Really Have To Be Careful About What You Say

Humor, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Well, maybe not – simply because although I do like using humor in a speech; however, it’s a tricky beast and it can turn on you at any moment. Just how is a speaker supposed to determine when some form of humor is inappropriate for the audience that he / she is speaking to?

The Test

Humor is a powerful tool for any speaker. The right words used at the right moment during your speech can cause your audience to laugh, loosen up, and start to really get into what you are talking about. However, humor has a dark side.

Once those words have left your mouth, there is no getting them back. What this means is that you’ve got to figure out if you really want to say them before you utter them.

What’s needed here is some sort of litmus test that would allow you to make that yes/no decision BEFORE you firmly stick your foot into your mouth. Professional speaker John Kinde believes that the best way to test something before you say it is to ask yourself if you’d be comfortable saying it in front of a corporate audience if you had been paid to come and talk to them? Now that’s food for thought…

Danger Will Robinson, Danger!

Look, if you want to minimize your chances of getting into trouble by saying something that you will end up regretting later on, there are some topics that should never find their way into your speeches. You probably already know some of these: religion, skin color, and politics.

What you might forget is that there are a whole bunch of other topics that you should plan on staying away from. These include anything about the human body (functions, sizes, etc.), people’s sexual orientation, and, of course, curse words.

The list is actually much longer and you’re going to have to use your common sense to figure out what should be on it. Things change and you need to make sure that you don’t find yourself giving a speech in the middle of a minefield.

The Problem With Your Audience

Is it possible to so carefully construct your next speech that you will avoid offending anyone who happens to be sitting in your audience? Nope. Someone is always going to take offense at something that you say.

What this means is that instead of trying to avoid offending everyone, you should instead try to offend as few people as possible. How many is too many?

Estimates vary, but most professional speakers agree that ticking off less than 10% of you audience is what you should be shooting for.

What All Of This Means For You

As a speaker you have a responsibility to reach out and connect with your audience – to make an impact in their lives. Using humor is a great way to make this happen.

However, humor has a dark side and if used inappropriately you won’t be connecting with your audience, instead you’ll be offending them. Picking what you include (and don’t) in your speech is a key way to play it safe.

Give all of this, sometimes you’ll screw up. You’ll end up offending too many people based on what you included in your speech. When this happens, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and be more careful next time.

- Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Public Speaking Skills™

Question For You: What do you think the best way to determine if a piece of humor is over the line for a given audience?

Click here to get automatic updates when The Accidental Communicator Blog is updated.

What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

4 Things That You Should Never Talk About

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010
Image Credit There Are Some Lines That Speakers Just Shouldn't Cross

There Are Some Lines That Speakers Just Shouldn't Cross

The next time that you are given an opportunity to create and deliver a speech, do me a favor and stop, put your pencil done before you start to write. I can just imagine what’s running through your mind: the magic words that will come spilling out of your mouth and will entertain and entrance your audience. Umm, unless of course they don’t. If you talk about the wrong things, then your speech will go nowhere quickly. Maybe we should have a chat about what you shouldn’t be talking about…

The Big Three

In every speaker’s life, hopefully there is someone who takes them aside early on and tells them the three topics that are absolutely off limits: race, religion, and sexuality. Yeah, yeah – if you are talking on one of these topics, then it’s ok, but if you’re not, then you need to stay far, far away.

The reason for this is because each of these topics are polarizing flash points that will instantly divide your audience. Some will agree with what you say, some won’t and you will have lost your audience.

Too Much Personal Info

As long as we are talking about things that you shouldn’t be talking about, let’s make sure that you know that sharing is good, but too much sharing is bad. I’m not even talking about the embarrassing personal stuff, instead I’m talking about the boring details of each of our lives.

I’m sure that we all have hobbies and personality quirks that we may find interesting or endearing. However, they aren’t. This is why you always want to test your speeches with friends who will be honest with you. If that personal story just isn’t doing it, then it needs to go away before you hurt an audience with it.

Personal Success Stories

So you saved a busload of schoolchildren from a pack of rampaging wild elephants. Yawn. Look, if you’ve done something impressive, that’s pretty cool. However, do you really think that you can tell me about it without coming across as someone who is bragging?

It takes a very careful skill for a speaker to share a story of personal success with an audience in the right way. You have to have a reason for telling the story. That reason has to have something to do with your audience. You had better be telling them how they can have the same type of success that you had or the story will just end up making your audience feel inadequate.

Book Reports

Any time that we have a speech to give that includes describing a sequence of events, such as a trip that we took, how something is manufactured, etc., we run the risk of delivering a book report that nobody wants to hear. You would be amazed at how many times I’ve had to sit though speeches that started out with “I’d now like to tell you about the 17 steps that we had to go through to solve this problem.”

Even if something took 17 steps to do, you don’t have to cover them all in your speech. Take some mercy on your audience and trim it down to two or three steps and tell them to talk to you to get more details if they want them. You must always think about how your speech is going to sound to your audience before you deliver it.

Bad Objects

I like a visual aid just as much as the next speaker, but sometimes they can work against you. Depending on the size of your room, a visual aid can be either too big and overshadow you or too small and not visible to your audience.

Keep in mind that you are the star of your speech – nothing else is. This means that if you choose to use something else that will allow your audience to take their eyes off of you, then it had better be the right object for the right audience.

What All Of This Means For You

As speakers we like to focus on what we can include in our next speech. However, it might be just as important to spend some time worrying about what we should not be putting into that speech.

The obvious topics that shouldn’t be included include race, religion, and sexuality. However, boring personal habits, overblown success stories, book reports, and poorly selected visual aids can also bring your next speech down.

The key to avoiding including things that will take away from your message is to put yourself in the place of your audience. If you can create a speech that has only good content and no bad content, then you will have created a speech that everyone is going to want to hear.

- Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Public Speaking Skills

Question For You: Did I leave anything off of my list? What other topics should a speaker never include in their speech?

Click here to get automatic updates when The Accidental Communicator Blog is updated.