Archive for the ‘fear’ Category

Public Speaker Challenges: Attack Of The Nerves!

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011
Image Credit
Before You Pull The Alarm, Find Out What's Causing You To Panic

Before You Pull The Alarm, Find Out What's Causing You To Panic

All that I’m asking for is some simple rules that would govern our lives. Among these rules would this little gem: I’ve got no problem having to deal with being nervous as a beginning speaker; however, once I’ve been speaking for a while I should no longer have any problems with nerves. Dang it – it turns out that these rules don’t exist and speakers can have panic attacks at any time no matter how much experience they have…

Where Does The Panic Come From?

When you’ve never felt a sense of panic before (or if it’s been a really, really long time since you felt it), then the first question that will pop into your mind when panic arrives is “What’s causing this?” As with all such things in life, the answer is probably somewhat complicated.

If you don’t normally have to deal with a case of the nerves when you are either preparing or actually giving a speech, then clearly something has changed. You need to take the time to search your environment in order to identify what’s different.

There are a number of common causes that make experienced speakers nervous. Who’s in your audience is one of them. More often than not, when you have someone that you know in the audience you can start to become jittery. This can include family members, friends, or even just people that you respect.

If you are having your speech recorded in some manner (either sound or video or both), then the need to be perfect can cause you problems. It’s not that the recording is that big of a deal, it’s just that it may be a different environment from what you are normally used to.

Finally, someone asked you to stand up and give a speech. You want to do a good job for them. The more important that your speech is for them and their career, the more pressure that there will be on you and the higher the probability that you’ll experience some level of panic.

How To Deal With Nerves

Understanding why you are dealing with a sudden case of the nerves is a good first start. Now you need to find a way to make them go away. The good news here is that this is possible and it’s really not all that hard to do.

Let’s cover the basics first: what not to do. Skip the caffeine. No matter how you get your drug of choice whether it’s from coffee or soda, just say no on the day that you’ll be speaking. Skip the milk. Same thing goes for dairy products because they can leave a coating on your mouth and throat that you don’t need to be dealing with. Finally, do I even have to tell you to stay away from alcohol (for obvious reasons)?

Since there is no way to tell what kind of shape your throat is going to be in before you give a speech and since becoming panicky can cause your throat to dry out, bring some throat lozenges along and pop them as needed. Couple this with some deep breathing exercises and you will be on your way to regaining control over your nerves.

Nerves have a lot to do with nervous energy. If you can cause this energy to go away, you’ll have less energy to be nervous with. The quickest and easiest way to do this is to perform some stretching exercises. I’m not talking about jumping jacks here, but rather leg and arm extensions that will stretch you out.

Finally, you need to turn that room full of strangers into a room full of people that you know. The fastest way to do this is to take the time to meet as many people as possible before you get up and give your speech. Shaking their hand, introducing yourself, and finding out a little bit about them will win them over to your side before you even open your mouth.

What All Of This Means For You

No matter how comfortable you are standing in front of an audience, there is always the possibility that at some point in time you’ll have to deal with a case of the nerves. The good news is that this can be a temporary situation.

When this happens, the first thing that you need to do is to take the time to understand what is causing it. Next, you need to focus on taking actions that will allow you to relieve the stress that you are feeling.

Sometimes the best realization is that panic attacks are temporary things – they won’t last. As speakers we need to realize that we are providing a service for our audiences and this is why we go through the effort of creating and delivering speeches. Focus on this and all of your temporary fears will melt away…

- Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Public Speaking Skills™

Question For You: If you feel a panic attack coming on, what do you think is the one thing that you can do to regain control?

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Note: What we talked about are advanced speaking skills. If you are just starting out I highly recommend joining Toastmasters in order to get the benefits of public speaking. Look for a Toastmasters club to join in your home town by visiting the web site www.Toastmasters.org. Toastmasters is dedicated to helping their members to understand the importance of public speaking by developing listening skills and getting presentation tips. Toastmasters is how I got started speaking and it can help you also!

What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

Why do you give speeches? I suspect that like most of us, the reasons vary; however, there is probably a common thread running through most of them – you want to lead your audience to take some form of action. In order to convince our audiences to follow us, we need to use words that will show them that we are leaders. Do you know how to do this?

Boo! How Speakers Overcome Their Fear Of Speaking

Tuesday, October 26th, 2010
Image Credit It's Not Monsters That Make Speakers Nervous, It's Other Things…

It's Not Monsters That Make Speakers Nervous, It's Other Things…

Considering just how much effort it takes to give a speech, it’s perfectly natural that every speaker should feel at least some level of nervousness. However, when we start to “shut down” because we’re so scared about giving a speech that’s when we start to realize that this whole nervousness thing has gotten out of hand. What’s a speaker to do?

Press The Flesh

There truly can be nothing more nerve-racking than standing in front of a group of strangers and trying to give a speech. Since you know that this is not what you want to do, you should find a way to change the game.

A simple and easy way to do this is to make sure that you have time to meet some or all of your audience before your speech starts. The process of meeting people, learning their names, shaking hands with them, and basically getting to know them can work miracles.

All of a sudden a room full of strangers who you may have believed didn’t really care to hear what you are going to be talking about will have been transformed into a gathering of friends who are eager and interested in hearing what you have to say. Who would be afraid of talking to friends?

Remember To Breath

A most curious thing happens whenever we start to get nervous or afraid: we stop breathing. Hopefully it goes without saying that this is a bad thing when you are going to be giving a speech.

When you get nervous, you start to take a series of short, shallow breaths that don’t give the stale air in your lungs a chance to clear out. This means that your body isn’t getting enough oxygen and so very quickly you’ll start to have a faster heart rate, difficulty breathing, etc.

Once again the cure is quite simple. When you realize that this is what you are doing, stop and take several deep breaths. This will provide your lungs with the air that they need and should help to make all of those symptoms of nervousness go away.

Pull Yourself Up

When we become nervous, we start to build up a lot of (what else?) nervous energy. If you don’t want to appear to be nervous to your audience, then what you’ve got to do is to find a way to get rid of this nervous energy.

When you are sitting on a chair on stage waiting for the announcer to complete your introduction, your options for venting nervous energy are limited. However, don’t despair, there’s an old trick that the pros use that will help you out.

Simply place both of your hands on the sides of the bottom of the chair that you are sitting on and proceed to pull up for a few minutes. Unless you are Harry Potter, that chair isn’t going anywhere with you sitting on it and you’ll be discreetly venting some of that nervous energy. Relax and try it again to vent even more energy.

Let’s Get Physical

This one takes a bit longer to do, but it also comes with long-term payoffs. Taking the time to get physically fit is a great way to keep your nerves under control.

By finding a physical exercise that you enjoy doing, you’ll have come up with a way to vent that nervous energy long before you are standing on a stage. It doesn’t matter if you take up running, walking, biking or whatever. Just as long as you keep moving, your nerves won’t be able to keep up with you.

What All Of This Means For You

Being a speaker means being nervous. In one way this is a good thing: your nerves will keep you alert and full of energy. However, having too much nervous energy means that it will start to spill out and your audience will become distracted by just how nervous you are.

What you need to do is to find ways that work for you to keep your nervous energy under control. Meeting your audience, remembering to breathe properly, and exercising can all help you to do this.

In the end it’s your words that you want your audience to remember about your speech, not how nervous you seemed to be. Follow these suggestions and you’ll come across as a cool and confident speaker who really knows their stuff.

- Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Public Speaking Skills™

Question For You: What do you think that you should do with your hands if you are feeling nervous during a speech?

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What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

Quiz time: what’s the most important part of your next speech? The opening? The points that you make in the middle to support your position or idea? Nope, it’s the close. The last few words out of your mouth are the ones that will have the greatest impact on your audience. Since this is true, why are you doing such a poor job with your speech endings?

How Speakers Handle That FEAR Thing…

Tuesday, October 19th, 2010
Image CreditThe Fear Of Public Speaking Needs To Be Stared Down

The Fear Of Public Speaking Needs To Be Stared Down

Remember when your Mom was tucking you into your bed at night and she told you that there was nothing to be afraid of so that you could go to sleep? Well guess what, she was only partially right. It turns out that a whole lot of us have a deep down fear of getting up in front a bunch of people and opening our mouth. Let’s see if we can do something about this…

So What Are We Really Afraid Of?

Before we go running off and trying to solve a problem that doesn’t really exist, let’s first do some checking and make sure that we have a real problem here. Over at The New Book of Lists: The Original Compendium of Curious Information they’ve got a list (what else?) of what scares us the most:

  1. Speaking before a group

  2. Heights

  3. Insects and bugs

  4. Financial problems

  5. Deep water

  6. Sickness

  7. Death

  8. Flying

  9. Loneliness

  10. Dogs

So there you go, we seem to be more afraid of speaking in public than we are of going broke or dogs. Clearly we’ve got to do something about this issue.

Create Your Own Cruise Control

So let’s all agree that if speaking in public is what scares us, then the first words out of our mouths while giving a speech are the ones that will be the hardest to do. Since we know that this is going to be difficult to do, we should probably come up with a way to make it easier to do.

This is where the idea of putting yourself on cruise control comes in. If you take the time to write out and memorize the first two minutes of your speech, then you won’t have to worry about what you are going to say. By doing this we give ourselves two minutes to get our act together and allow the butterflies in our gut to line up in formation and fly straight.

Plan Your Introductions

Since the memorization of the first two minutes went so well, let’s build on that. Your speech is going to be made up of a series of things: points, stories, questions, etc. Each of these components needs an introduction even if it’s only a few words.

Take the time to memorize the exact words that you want to come out of your mouth when you are starting a new piece of your speech and this will serve to “anchor” you on that topic and, once again, you’ll have an automatic sense of direction on what you want to say next.

Cheat Like There Is No Tomorrow

Remember in school when it came to be test time and your teachers had you put all of your papers away before you started the test? Well guess what, that was then and this is now. You are more than welcome to cheat as much as you’d like when you are giving a speech.

In order to do a good job of cheating, you’re going to need a cheat sheet. The cheat sheet needs to be easy to read – that means use a nice big font and space everything out. Short of writing your speech out word-for-word, you’re going to want to put on your cheat sheet whatever it’s going to take to help you remember what you want to say.

Rehearse And Then Rehearse Some More

Do I even have to go over this one? If you are the type of person who gets a rush from just showing up and doing something without practicing it beforehand, then do us all a favor and don’t speak in public.

If you are willing to do some rehearsing before you give a speech, then good for you. My clients are always asking me how many times they should practice a speech before giving it. My answer is always the same: 7 times. It turns out that this seems to be the magic number that sits at the dividing line between too few and too many practices.

Buy Yourself Some Time

When it comes to speaking in public, time is often our worst enemy. All too often you see speakers showing up just in time (or late) to give their speech. They run to the front of the room, all flustered, and then try to calm down and give a speech.

Instead of putting yourself in this position, plan on showing up to where you’ll be speaking at least an hour before you are scheduled to go on stage. If you can get there even earlier, then that would be even better. This is almost like buying yourself an insurance policy that when it’s time for you to speak, you’ll be more than ready.

What All Of This Means For You

To feel fear when you think about standing in front of a group of people and speaking to them is very natural. However, it’s one of the things in life that has to be done and so you need to find ways to overcome your fear.

Much of what you can do to conquer your fear can be done long before it comes time for you to speak. Memorizing parts of your speech, creating a cheat sheet, and making sure that you show up early will all help you to remain in control of your fears.

Realizing that everyone feels the same way about public speaking can go a long way in helping you to find the courage to do it. Now just put into practice some of these suggestions and not only will you be able to do it, but you’ll be able to do it well…!

- Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Public Speaking Skills™

Question For You: Do you think that it is possible to practice a speech too much?

Click here to get automatic updates when The Accidental Communicator Blog is updated.

What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

Considering just how much effort it takes to give a speech, it’s perfectly natural that every speaker should feel at least some level of nervousness. However, when we start to “shut down” because we’re so scared about giving a speech that’s when we start to realize that this whole nervousness thing has gotten out of hand. What’s a speaker to do?

Ambush: When Experienced Speakers Develop New Public Speaking Fears

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

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Experienced Speakers Can Have Phobias Too

Even the most accomplished public speakers can develop a sudden phobia about speaking in public. In order to get over this phobia, you need to recognize what kind it is and how to deal with it.

These phobias can show up out of the blue and you’ll never see them coming. Judith Pearson is an experienced counselor who has seen this happen time after time and she’s got some suggestions on what to do if / when this happens to you.

What is a Public Speaking Phobia?

One of the big problems that public speakers have with phobias is simply recognizing them for what they are. It turns out that a sudden fear of public speaking can hit an accomplished speaker at any time. If you find yourself with an irrational fear of speaking to a group, then you’ve got a phobia.

Pearson says that public speaking phobias can be broken down into one of three main categories:

  • It’s all about me
  • Past disasters
  • Fear of making mistakes in front of an audience

The “It’s All About Me” Phobia

In my opinion, this is the most common phobia that can hit an experienced speaker. If you develop this phobia, then all of a sudden you’ll find yourself feeling highly self-conscious when you think about speaking in public. The more you think about giving a speech, the more you’ll feel as though the audience that you’ll be talking to will be sitting there disapproving of every word that is coming out of your mouth.

The solution to dealing with this phobia is to sit down and have a talk with yourself. You’ll need to realize that ultimately it’s really NOT all about you. In reality, it’s the audience that matters – not you. They have come to hear you speak in order to learn – in all honesty it really doesn’t matter that you will be the one talking to them.

The “Past Disaster” Phobia

I think that we’ve all been here before: this phobia is created by some sort of traumatic event that has occurred in your past that had an accompanying highly-charged negative emotion. A great example of this would be if something went wrong with a speech and then the event organizer yelled at you about it afterwards.

Once again, the right way to deal with this phobia is to sit down and have a talk with yourself. You need to find a way to make yourself understand that what has happened has happened in the past. You need to realize that it can never happen again and you need to move forward. Acknowledge what happened and convince yourself that you’ll do better in the future.

The “Fear Of Making Mistakes” Phobia

If you have to have a phobia, then this is probably the one that you’ll want to have. The reason is that the fear of making mistakes is really the other side of the desire to do a great job at something. The phobia stops you in your tracks or makes it hard to get started because you just don’t think that you can do a good enough job at some speaking task.

This is the one phobia that you can actually muscle your way though. Ultimately the solution is to practice, practice, and practice. You need to get yourself to a point where you can realize that you are always going to make mistakes (we’re all human after all). However, you need to be able to observe your mistakes when you make them, make corrections, and then continue on.

Final Thoughts

Phobias are not just for beginning speakers – they can hit any of us at anytime. The key to dealing with a public speaking phobia is to realize what it is – a irrational fear.

Dealing with the three most common forms of public speaking phobias requires you to sit down and think through your fears in order to put them in context. This is the best way for dealing with them. Learn to do this well and you’ll be able to intimately connect with your audience and make an lasting impact in their lives.

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What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

If you forget all of the advice that you’ve ever been given about speaking, then please at least remember this: audiences come to hear experts speak. No matter how badly you stutter, lose your place, don’t make eye contact, etc. an audience will always forgive a presenter whom they believe is an expert in what he/she is talking about.