Mark Bowden's Book: Winning Body Language

Just like most professional public speakers, I have a bad habit of occasionally starting to believe that I know everything that there is to know. When this starts to happen, I know how to solve it: I go read a book.

The Body Language Book

This time around I picked up a copy of Mark Bowden’s book Winning Body Language: Control the Conversation, Command Attention, and Convey the Right Message without Saying a Word that his publisher had sent to me. My expectations were low — I mean, come on, I’ve been doing the talking thing for a long time.

Well, I guess I need to eat some crow here. Mark’s book was a real eye opener. No, I don’t agree with everything that he has to say, but enough of what he says caught my attention that I’m going to change my speaking style based on his recommendations. Now do I have your attention?

What Plane Are You Speaking In?

Mark covers a lot of material in his book, all of it good. However, the part that really caught my attention was when he started talking about what he calls the GesturePlane system.

In a nutshell, what this calls for is for you to take a look at your body you are speaking in a different way. According to Mark you have one plane that slices you through the middle from your head to your toes. You have another plane that cuts you in half right though the belly button.

Once you are aware of these planes, Mark steps you though a discussion of where you should position your body parts relative to each plane while you are speaking.

It’s All About The Hands

Here’s the part where Mark got me: he told me that I’ve been doing the wrong thing with my hands all these years. Mark is strongly against a speaker keeping their hands at their sides when they are not making gestures. Instead, he recommends that they go in front of your belly button.

The reasoning behind all of this takes a bit of time to fully explain. I’ll leave it up to you to get a copy of Mark’s book ($13 over at Amazon) for all of the details. Needless to say he made a believer out of me.

What All Of This Means For You

You would think that all of this body language stuff would come naturally to us, right? Well, it turns out that it’s actually harder to do right than you might think.

There are a lot of books out there that promise to teach you how to use your body language to make your speeches have more impact. I haven’t read them all, but I have read Mark Bowden’s and I think that he’s on to something with his GesturePlane System.

Whenever you learn something new and commit to changing your speaking style based on something that you’ve learned, it can be just a little bit scary. I’ll keep you posted on how my new body language speaking technique goes — let’s see if I can develop winning body language…!

- Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Public Speaking Skills™

Question For You: What do you do with your hands while you speak — keep them by your sides or do you do something else?

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What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

Welcome to the world of business: do you know how to give a speech here? All too often speakers spend their time studying how to connect with customers and community members. That’s all well and good; however, that style of speaking is completely different from the style that you need to use when you are giving a presentation within the company. Do you have the right stuff?

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Even If You Don’t Care About The Singing, American Idol Has A Lot To Teach…

Why Should A Speaker Watch A Singing Show?

I’m pretty sure that by now everyone has at least heard about the TV show “American Idol”. It’s the most popular show on television right now and everyone seems to be talking and gossiping about it all the time. Outside of being a great source of entertainment, is it possible that this show just might be able to teach us a few things about how to become a better speaker…?

Sure They Can Sing, But So What?

I’ve known about American Idol since it first showed up something like nine years ago. However, I had not understood its value to a speaker until I visited Disney World the other week. At Disney’s Hollywood theme park, they have an attraction called, what else, “America Idol”. You sit in the audience and three amateur singers compete to win the audience’s vote.

It was the fact that the performers were such rank amateurs and that I got to see them up close and in person that finally drove home what I had been missing. Look, all three of the competitors were better singers than I am (that’s not really saying all that much), but I don’t think that it was their voice that determined who won.

None of the three young ladies that were performing on the day that I attended the show were all that good. I mean, they had nice voices and all that, but would they make it on to the TV show – probably not. In fact, I’d say that their voices and singing ability were all pretty much equal. So what set them apart from each other?

It turns out that their stage presence is what really set these three performers apart. The first young lady came out and sang. She did a very nice job, but she just stood there and belted out her tune. From an audience perspective, we all enjoyed it and assumed that the other two performers would do the same.

However, when the second performer came out, not only did she sing but she also moved around on the stage as she sang. The difference was quite startling – the audience really responded to her song. Finally the third performer came out and not only sang and moved around on the stage, but you could see in her body language that she was “feeling” the emotion in the song that she was singing.

I probably don’t have to tell you who won – the third singer. From a speaker point-of-view the difference between how the audience responded to the three different singers was amazing. It really drove home the understanding that any speech that we give is really a performance and that we need to use our whole body in order to really connect with our audience.

Why Simon Is So Popular

If that was all that I had learned at this show, then I would have felt that I had gotten more than my money’s worth for my $74 Disney ticket. However, this show had one more lesson to teach me.

On the TV show there are three judges that evaluate the contestants. One of these judges is Simon Cowell. He has become famous for being mean – if someone’s performance is not very good, then Simon won’t mince any words and will tell them that they are a terrible singer and that they should go home.

Millions of people watch the show just to hear what Simon is going to say next. They hate him for making people feel bad and cry, but they love him for being willing to speak his mind at the same time. At the Disney show they had a stand-in for Simon who spoke with an Australian accent (Simon speaks with a British accent) and he played the part very well – he insulted all three singers.

What caught my attention was just how important a part of the show the Simon figure was. It wouldn’t have been American Idol without him. The audience knew what he was going to say, but still there was an eager anticipation to hear him each time he spoke.

Watching all of this unfold I was struck with the realization that you don’t need to have your audience like you or even like what you are talking about. However, you do need to have a very clearly defined position.

If people know what you stand for then they’ll pay attention to you. They may be listening to get confirmation of their own beliefs or they may be listening in order to confirm that they think that you are wrong. It doesn’t matter – they are still listening to you!

What All Of This Means For You

We may never have an opportunity to appear on the TV show “American Idol” and bask in the glory of millions of adoring fans. However, that doesn’t mean that the show can’t make our lives better by teaching us a thing or two.

When the voices are roughly the same, the thing that sets performers apart is how they use their bodies to support the words that they are saying. Speakers need to learn to do the same thing. Simon Cowell and his sharp personality is a key part of the show’s success. Speakers who have a well-defined position will always be able to keep the attention of their audiences.

As speakers we can learn from all of the nervousness and embarrassment that the singers on this show have to go through (including having to be evaluated by Simon!). Applying what works for singers can help all of us to become better speakers.

Question For You: How would you feel speaking if you had a clearly defined position that your audience really disagreed with?

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What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

As speakers we have a tendency to focus on the things that scare us the most – forgetting our words, nervous body tics, etc. and we can often overlook the things that really count: making an impression on our audience. You can be a powerfully effective speaker who is sought after by many just by taking the time to carefully pick the words that you use…

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Is true that people can know what you are thinking by what your body language is telling them?

What You Know About Body Language Is All Wrong

Did you know that when you are delivering a speech, there is always another conversation going on? No, I’m not talking about your rude audience (although they may be talking also), instead I’m talking about your body – it’s having its own conversation with your audience. Maybe you should know what it’s saying…?

The fact that we are always communicating with our audience through body language should come as no surprise to anyone. However, what might catch your attention is that most of what you think that you know about how to read body language is probably wrong. It’s just urban myths that have been told over and over again.

A quick example might help me to make my point: what’s the best way to make a first impression with someone? If you’re like me, you’ll assume that greeting them with a lot of energy will show spunk and drive – all good things. It turns out that we’d be wrong. Dave Zielinski has been looking into this and he reports that most people believe that people who are low energy and restrained have the most self-confidence.

There is nothing that we can do about preventing our body language from sending messages to our audience. However, the one thing that we can do is learn to read other people’s body language more effectively.

Common Myths

Have you ever had to give a speech early in the morning? The 900 lb gorilla in the room is the fact that everyone is still sleepy – several of them have probably not even woken up yet. What’s the best way to get some energy into the room?

If you are like most speakers, you’ll rely on what we’ve all been told is the best way to wake up an audience: hit them with a high-energy presentation delivered at a loud volume. It turns out that this is exactly the wrong thing to do. Instead, what you need to do is to start out at their energy level (low) and then gradually raise the energy up and allow them to come along with you.

How about when we see people in our audience who have their arms crossed over their chest? They must be resisting our message, right? Probably wrong – check the temperature in the room – they may just be cold!

In the end, once you get comfortable understanding what your audience’s body language is really telling you, you’ve got to adjust your body language so that they can connect with you. What really matters in your speech is not a lot of body language rules, but rather your voice quality & variation, conviction, strong content, and good eye contact.

What All Of This Means For You

Body language is something that every speaker needs to be aware of. However, we also have to understand that we are probably interpreting it incorrectly because it’s so hard to read. Don’t spent too much time trying to follow a set of body language “rules” because it will take away from your speech.

Instead, do what comes naturally to you. This will allow you to more fully focus on giving the best speech possible and you won’t get tripped up trying to remember a long list of do’s and don’ts.

In the end, if you can allow you body and mind to deliver the same speech then your audience will get a consistent message and you’ll be successful in connecting with your audience.

Do you think that your body language helps or hurts you when you give a presentation?

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What We’ll Be Talking About Next Time

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Perhaps you were looking for a top 10 list? I’ve spent some time thinking about all of the technical presentations that I’ve given in the past and I was only able to come up with a list of nine really, really bad things that I’ve done over and over again. Let’s take a look at the bad habits that technical presenters make and, as a bonus, we’ll see if we can find ways to stop doing them!

1. Technical Presenter Bad Habit #1: Reading Your Speech.
   I don’t care how technical the material that you are talking about is, you need to connect with your audience during your presentation and you won’t be able to do this if you are tied to your notes, your slides, or even a script. Instead, practice, practice, practice. Once you really know your material, then you’ll be able to deliver it without notes. Steve Jobs over at Apple does this and that’s why he is so good!

2. Technical Presenter Bad Habit #2: Poor Eye Contact.
   They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Well, you’ve got to be looking in those windows in order to be able to determine what is going on inside of your audience’s heads. Too many of us will spend an entire presentation looking at something, anything, else besides our audience. You need to consciously make an effort to make eye contact with your audience at least 90% of the time that you are speaking.
3. Technical Presenter Bad Habit #3: Dressing Badly.
   As a speaker, you always want to be the best dressed person in the room. While you are speaking, your clothes will be speaking to the audience also. You want them to be saying that you are both successful and confidant. A good looking speaker gets the respect of the audience even before he/she opens their mouth. If you don’t feel confident selecting clothes, then get a friend or a salesperson to help you make the right decisions.
4. Technical Presenter Bad Habit #4: Bad Body Language.
   While you are talking, your body may be having a conversation with your audience at the same time. If your hands are fumbling with a pen, coin, or a ring; or if you are pacing, swaying or other wise making movements that distract the audience from what you are saying, then you are sabotaging your own presentation. The best way to stop doing this is to practice in front of a mirror or videotape your practice. You just might be surprised at what you see!
5. Technical Presenter Bad Habit #5: Winging It.
   If you feel that you know your material or your audience so well that a rehearsal is not needed, please print out the following words and place them on your desk where you can see them: “YOU’RE WRONG!” The first time that you give a presentation is the worst time that you give it. You just keep getting better each time you run through it. John Chambers, the CEO of Cisco, spends countless hours practicing every part of every presentation. If a big & important guy like him is willing to spend the time, then why wouldn’t you?
6. Technical Presenter Bad Habit #6: Being Too Stiff.
   This bad habit is in a fight with bad habit #4. Although you don’t want your body parts to flap around and distract from what you are saying, you also don’t want to be a statue – this will also distract from what you’re saying. If you assume a frozen position, then that will result in a boring presentation for your audience.
7. Technical Presenter Bad Habit #7: Shooting Your Audience w/ Bullets.
   I’ve got great news for you – chances are that your audience can read! This means that if you spend your presentation reading bullets that are listed on a slide that everyone in the audience can read for themselves, then you will have done everyone a disservice. Remember the slides are there to serve the speaker, not the other way around.
8. Technical Presenter Bad Habit #8: Going On, And On, And On.
   Although you may love to hear yourself speak, studies show that you’ll start to use your audience after about 18 minutes or so. One of the golden rules of presentations is that an audience will never hold it against you if you wrap up early; however, they’ll blame you if you take too long. This all gets back to practicing your presentation before you give it – trim it ruthlessly!
9. Technical Presenter Bad Habit #9: Being Boring.
   Your audience has other things that they could be doing instead of listening to you. You need to do something to grab their attention and make them care about what you are talking about. This means that you need to have a powerful opening that seizes their attention from the get go and a closing that wraps it all up.

There you go – a top 9 list of things that happen all to often when a technical presenter has bad habits. How many of this habits do you have? Have you ever been able to overcome a bad technical presentation bad habit? How did you do it? Leave a comment and let me know what has worked for you.

Tags: public speaking, training, speech, eye contact, body language

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So you’ve been given the chance to talk to the big people. Or maybe to important customers. Or maybe just to a group of new hires, it doesn’t really matter — you can blow any of these opportunities if you aren’t aware of what your body is saying. In fact, in certain circumstances, if you don’t really believe what you are talking about, your audience will know it because your body language will be screaming “don’t believe me — I don’t believe what I’m telling you right now!” In order to avoid getting drowned out by yourself, make sure that you listen to what your body is saying.

We’ve all heard the expression “Appearance matters”. Well guess what, it really does. Thanks to about 50,000 years of evolution all of us have developed an acute ability to size someone up before they say a single word. Guess what: when you take the stage to start a talk to a group, they have already formed an initial opinion of you. As you start to talk you will either confirm or refute this impression. So let’s talk about what you need to do to make your body talk a powerful part of your communication skills:

• Stand Up Straight Young Man (or Woman)! This is the simplest thing to do — stand up straight and adopt a stance that exudes confidence, power, and energy no matter how you are currently feeling. If you look like you are in control, then everyone will believe that you are.

• No Chicken Dancing! Our arms and hands are amazing parts of our bodies. However, during a presentation if we are not careful they can put on a show all by themselves and that will end up distracting everyone who is watching us. The right thing to do is to keep them loosely dangling by our sides. Note that although this sounds simple, it is sometimes the hardest thing in the world to do!
• Turn Off The X-Ray Vision: Eye contact is an important part of any presentation. Its how you make contact with the audience and it can be a very powerful tool. However, avoiding looking at people in the audience or, even worse, staring down specific audience members can cause onlookers to become completely distracted and forget to pay attention to what you have to say.

There’s a lot more to understanding what your body is saying. Your goal should be to make sure that your audience is not getting mixed messages from what you say and what your body is saying. If done correctly, your body language can help turn you into a powerful communicator.

Tags: appearances, body language, communication, eye contact, stand up straight

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Last week I was invited to sit in on two sets of presentations by junior members of a very large telecommunication firm’s IT department. They are part of a management training program and the program’s instructors asked me to visit because they had had some guest presenters who were *really* bad. The hope was that I could provide immediate feedback for the teams that presented as well as things to avoid for the teams that had yet to present. Sounded fair enough, eh?

During the presentations I wrote notes like a madman. Ten separate engineers presented material and I filled about seven pages of a notebook with comments and ideas. To keep things brief, let me share with you the top three things that I noticed:

1. Who You Talking To?: Each and every one of the presenters spent a lot of their “stage time” with their bodies pointed towards the projection screen and actually talked to the screen instead of the audience. This happens way too often when you use PowerPoint to create an outline of you speech and end up reading it off of the screen.

Solution: The correct way to present material is to make sure that you always face your audience. The slides are there to reinforce your verbal message — you should spend no time staring at them. Instead, have a conversation with your audience and let us choose if we want to look at you or your slide.

2. Here? There? Over There?: Just where to stand was a major problem for each presenter. There was a lectern on the stage (def: a lectern is big and goes all the way down to the floor, a podium is shorter and generally sits on a table. They both hold a speaker’s notes) and nobody seemed to know what to do with it. Some stood behind it, some stood off to its side, and some completely ignored it. They all moved from behind it to in front of it and back during their presentations. The end result was that this turned out to be a distraction to everyone who was watching the presentations.

Solution:: Make a decision before you start to speak — in front of the lectern or behind it. Once you make this decision, stick with it. Neither decision is right or wrong, only alternating between the two positions is wrong because it becomes distracting.

3. Handy Hands: Hands sure are nice to have. Except when you are presenting to a group. Then the difficult question of what to do with your hands when you aren’t making a gesture comes up. Each of the 10 engineers who presented did something different with their hands: in the pockets, behind the back, crossed in front, praying that they don’t get kicked in the groin, etc. What this ended up doing is once again distracting the audience as we watched the speaker try to determine with what to do with their hands.

Solution: When not using them as a part of your speech, let your hands drop to your sides and let them dangle there. This sounds soooo easy; however, it really is quite difficult to do. If you spend time practicing talking in front of a mirror at home, you’ll be able to catch yourself doing “handy” things and can quickly put a stop to it.

Ok, that’s it for now. I’ve got much more to share. Let me know if you’re interested in learning from the faults of others and I can post it.

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